Olivia’s birthday party was in full swing, the will-it-won’t-it rain panic had passed and the kids managed to stay in one place and join in with Allison and the aardvarks. I took a mental step back and looked around. My beautiful daughter in my arms, my gorgeous son by my side and my friends and family all around. It was a moving moment. It was also an emotional one. Both my parents are being treated for cancer (dad-kidney/mum-pancreas) and neither one was feeling their usual selves. My dad sat quietly on a chair and my mum flaked out on the sofa. They missed the songs and the birthday cake.
Once the guests had left and the chaos had subsided, they both awoke from their naps, feeling a little better, and joined us for the present opening. Again I took a step back. This time I realized how blessed I am to have what I have and how fragile life is.
Until we have children of our own, we are the children. Our parents are our parents and we fit nicely into those roles. Having children changes that dynamic, as obvious as that may seem. I am the middle piece of the puzzle, I hold the other two pieces together. The picture would not be complete with one piece missing.
I’m confident that my mum and dad will come through the other side of this ordeal healthy and happy. There are a lot of birthday parties to come. Not to mention barmitzvahs, graduations and weddings!
I just want to be selfish and say that I need them to always be there, just like they always have been, just like I now am for my own kids.
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6 comments:
I am so happy for you that your parents were able to come to the party! That is how it is supposed to be.......(we never stop being their children and I suspect that we will never stop being their parent) and look at you, posting!- how did you ever have time after that party?
Claire,
That's a really nice posting!!! That's what family is all about. I lost my dad when he was only 45 years old and until today I can't get over the pain of his death. I guess I learned to live with it. That's why I always tell( and show) my family and friends how much I love them, how importante they are and how greateful I am to have them in my life. Moments like Olivia's party are priceless!!!
It was so nice to read your post and I am glad both your parents were able to come to the party and be a part of Olivia's one year old milestone. I also think that it is wonderful that you took the time to truly appreciate these special moments with your family that are sometimes taken for granted. I have learned after having children and living far from my own parents to savor the time that they are with us for visits.
What a fantastic post. I want to try and dig out some of my old writings about the kids when they were wee and post them, but I'm a bit frantic just now.
I hope that your parents find serenity and peace and get to watch the kids grow for years to come.
My father's still about and healthy but he still falls asleep at parties (when he can make it). Of course he's been falling asleep at our functions since the mid 1970s.
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Great post Claire. I feel sorry we missed Olivia's party. But I'm glad you got to spend time with your parents and really "take all in" as you say. My grandfather passed away last tuesday in Peru and it was so shocking to me, he was diagnosed with stomach cancer about two months ago, they operated on him and then things went wrong from there. Everything is still a little bit ireal for me, since last time I saw him on April he was so healthy and strong, I can't believe yet I won't be seeing him again, not in this life anyway, I know we won't be camping or fishing at the beach anymore and that hurts . It was hard for me to me to miss the funeral and not be able to be close to my mom and my little sister at that time, it was hard to be so far away ( I couldn't get a ticket that would get me there on time). I would love to be able to live closer to my family and have my kids enjoy their grandparents as much as possible and share their love not only by phone or internet and the ocassional international trips, but we chose this so far and I don't know if it is the best, time will say I guess. Anyway I miss my parents and my little sister, my grandma and I miss my grandpa very much. But I keep them all always with me, they live in my heart.
Claire, your posting gave me goosebumps. It is clear-headed in a moment of potential chaos (the large and the small). A moment of observation of future, present and past. Our best wishes are with you and your family for everyone's strength, health and happiness.
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